Reading through this, it struck me how unhappy i sound.
i do not see this being true, mostly.
i am also disappointed that the zen i tend to lead my life by doesn't come through more either.
Hm.
Well, let's have it out then.
Yes, i am very unhappy that i am not as free to see my girlfriend as i wish i was.
i also accept that i had something to do with that.
On the whole, i am a very fulfilled person; i have a good job with interesting people, i have an above average standard of living and a family that isn't so bad mostly. i have a group of peers that are mostly supportive (The ones i'm closer to, anyway; the others i really think of more as acquaintances. To me, 'friends' are in the same tier [or higher in many cases] than family. They have been my family when my family has not.) and on the whole, good people; in spite of how they might come off. i am fortunate enough to have found a member of the opposite gender (Not that's the bit that matters so much, really) who loves me unconditionally and is more of a positive influence in my life than i think anyone gets to see. Further, i have a body that's stood up to it's mileage in nothing short of miraclous condition, and regardless of the punishment it's been put through, it still does exactly what i tell it to an extent that i still believe beats out most people. The reflexes, while frazzled, still function normally and well, as does the metabolism. The immune system, while somewhat spotty recently, has performed incredibly overall. In short, my life is pretty good.
Now the zen bit:
Courtesy, Moderation, Compassion.
Those are the tenets. Respect these, and we should get along just fine.
In the traditional Zen fashion; from Courtesy comes Courage, from Moderation comes Generosity, and from Compassion comes Respect.
At least that's how it's supposed to work. i'll be the first to say i'm not the best zen student there was.
But that's what makes it all worth it: i could be some day.
i hope i've made it apparent how much i think of you (And by that i don't mean how often), Sierra.

Courtesy.
- posted by Third @ 11:59 PM