i've taken a day to think about what happened last night, and i've come to a decision. i've had wonderful support from you, my friends, who have been wonderful to me through this. From you, my friends, i've had recommendations across the board; from "Just ignore him from now on. Act like he doesn't even exist. Be polite, but keep away." To "…report the dickwad's candy ass," all the way to "Beat the **** out of that guy for me, okay?" One of you even prayed with me, bless you. But the path i've chosen to take is not one that was recommended by any of my friends and classmates, although i think all of you, most especially Brian will be proud of the action i have decided to take. i cannot do violence against him. Not any kind of violence at all, and that includes ignoring him and reporting him, and it obviously includes abusing him. "Why?" You ask? Brian will tell you it's the Christ-like thing to do, as will anyone with Courtesy, regardless of religion. Why can't i wish him violence? After all, didn't he deceive me? Didn't he willfully give me something he knew would do me harm? Did he not trick me into something i told him explicitly that i didn't want? Yes. Yes, to all of the above.
The important part of all this comes in here:
That means he's sicker than i am.
The spirituality i embrace is closest to Zen, if you had to pin it with a pigeon-holed religion. Zen has no scripture, no strict worship practices, and no hymnal, and so it is a difficult religion to recognize. I believe more than Zen, though; i believe that Jesus of Nazareth was an exceptional man; i believe that The Buddha was a wise and enlightened figure. i believe in the just and strict reciprocity of Islam, and the slow, graceful reciprocity of Judaism. i believe that every living thing is sacred, and that we have an obligation to be guardians of the Earth, life, and each other; like so many Native Americans do. i believe the spirits of our ancestors and our departed beloved try to lovingly guide and weather our lives with us every day, as the Wiccans do. Formally, the name of my religion is probably "Orthodox Eclectic." However, anyone who knows me well at all can say that i try as best i can, to live by Courtesy. In this case, Courtesy says i must turn the other cheek and help my brother, who i am in a position to give a hand up to. So instead of sending him to a reformatory, or suing the food out of his mouth and the clothes off his back, instead of waiting for him in the dark parking lot some night, i'm going to embrace him.
This is my goal: By the end of the semester, i will have made a positive difference in his life. By the end of the semester, he'll offer to share a soda with me, and i will know deep in my heart that it's safe to share with him. i will think no ill of him, love him and forgive him like my brother, and by doing so, i can help my brother do the right thing for himself as well. Let it be written here by my hand, and so let it be done.

Following is the letter i have composed for my new friend:

Hey There, **********.

i really don't know how to start this letter, except to say i hope you'll read it with the deepest respect you can find in yourself for me; i'm writing this to you as a man to a man, and i hope you can appreciate that. i need you to do me a favor; and here it is:

Please, please don't give me anything else.
Not ecstasy, not speed, not grass. Don't even give me alcohol. Nothing at all, okay?
Maybe you thought i knew what i was getting into with the soda the other night; maybe you liked me, so you thought you'd let me sample on the house. i didn't know, though. i didn't know and i really didn't need that at all.

i know, it's all business, and you're just providing for people who want what you've got. You probably make a fair amount for yourself by hooking people in, but i need to ask you this, if only for my sake.
i've had problems with drugs, man. My first two and a half years of high school were a long string of sex, drugs and parties, and i loved it.
But i can't do that now. it's done. That's over.
i've dosed on the ecstasy you gave me, and i've realized that if i had that chance to slip back again, i'd still love it today.
That's my problem. i'm in a good, solid relationship, and she doesn't want to see me like that; she really loves me, so she only wants what's best for me, and for my future: a future with both of us in it.
But i'm not very good at resisting temptation, if you get my drift. i've shown that.

For her sake and for mine, i can't go back to doing drugs; i'd lose everything i have now.
There are people who can do drugs recreationally and keep it in check with the rest of their lives, so they still have a handle on their work, school, spouse, whatever; and i know that i'm not one of them, **********; i just have junkie blood in my veins or something, but i know that once i get into a fix, all i care about is where the next one is coming from.
i can't do that any more, **********. i just love her too much to lose her like that. i love my family too much, and deep down, i've got to love myself too much to fall back on drugs.

i need you to do this for me, okay? Do it as a friend. Or at least do it as a man of honor.
Cut me off.
You tell me you've taken licks with the Marines; so i'll ask you, as an honorable man, to respect me enough to turn me down, even though the money's good and even though i beg you for it.
Please, think of this letter if i ever do. You seem like a good guy; someone who's fun to be around, and i'd like to get to know you better. i think we could be good friends, and i'd like that.
i hope that we can make that happen, you and i, and still keep me on track, so if you're willing, i'll ask for your friendship, and just as importantly, for your help.
Those who love me the most will thank you.


Courtesy,

Liam Powers
Cell: 821-2424

- posted by Third @ 1:43 AM