So. Four more years.
i hope i'm not the only American who feels like apologizing to all his foreign friends.
Like "i'm sorry! i feel so guilty about what you have/are going to have to put up with! i voted for the other guy! i'm sorry! i really tried! Please don't be disappointed in me!"

Yes, i know, he was elected by more than half of my country.
Raising the question: How long can we maintain an ever widening gap between two seemingly irreconcilable halves of this country?

Well, all i can do is take it as well as i can, and let him have a chance to do the best that he can with the next term. That's all anyone can ever ask of anyone, after all.

Courtesy.
- posted by Third @ 1:09 AM (1) comments

 

- posted by Third @ 2:07 AM (0) comments

 
There's someone in my life that's helped make me who i am.
She's been the mirror held up to my life that i could look into and know myself better.
She's having a very hard time right now.
She's dealing with someone who's in a bad personal space as far as lifestyle choices go, and she's done all she can for him, but he's not being as receptive as she'd like. She's pretty desperate to get away from him, from the parts of him that she sees in herself, and from the world in general.

She feels so alone right now.
i know this, because i know how i would feel. Have felt.

Worst of all, she's rational enough all the time to make Sinister look maudlin. Most people can get hysterical, and use it as a buffer between them and their emotions, but she can't. She's so used to being in control of herself that she's exhausted by it, and she's looking for some kind of escape to a safe place, alone. She's given up her other escape valves, and she doesn't know where to turn for one.

i know this because i know how i would feel. Have felt. Feel.

She's feeling so alone, and she calls me, because i listen without interrupting her.i don't try to volunteer solutions, or tell her what her problem is.
i don't tell her to just stop.
i like doing that for her. That's what i like people to do for me.

She talks to me with this perfect naivete, like she doesn't know that i understand everything she's saying as though i said it myself. i have to stop myself from chuckling when she says "i just want to find an empty one room appartment and just sit in it, alone. That probably doesn't make any sense, does it?" Maybe she forgot that she has a pass to the White Room.

Halloween is her favorite day of the year, but she's spending it moving, rather than stay somewhere that this person can reach her. She's that desperate.
i'm left wondering if there was anything else i could have said or done for her.

She's talking about things that i've been thinking about for some time now; hurting people she's frustrated with, disengaging from people she's become disillusioned with, escaping from the reality of her own choices, the feeling that somehow she draws problems unconsciously and then can't get rid of them. The intense desire to disengage, disengage, disengage.

i'm an absolute emotional wreck right now, feeling the strangest mix of compassion and self-preservation.

Hearing her talk and knowing so well what she's feeling, i feel like i'm on the path to becoming as broken down as she is, and for whatever reason, neither of us seems to be able to help the other any more than we can help ourselves.
- posted by Third @ 5:43 PM (0) comments